Most parents often complain about their children as being inconsiderate, often belligerent, rebellious, non-cooperative, stubborn, recalcitrant, or sometimes taciturn….or its as if the child is insensitive or callous to the emotions of the parents and is only selfishly concerned about their own welfare or desires….despite all the cajoling and persuasion by their respective parents to mend their ways..
All this sounds familiar right?!? It may sound familiar, often it’s a fact in most households today, only exacerbated by the modern, nuclear setup..the truth of the matter is quite different from the perception of most parents of these kids..the truth is no child comes into this world deliberately wanting to be difficult and to be a pain to his/her parents, or for that matter to anybody else..
Its against our fundamental nature to be aggressive, belligerent or difficult. The innate nature of the inner self of each one of us is unshakeable peace, unconditional love, and perpetual bliss…it’s the truth. Nobody put these attributes into the human soul, and is not imbibed from anywhere..this is the primodial nature of the human soul the beauty of our being, which is always there and always will be..its eternal.
This being the truth, so why is any child a trouble maker or a rebel? Every human has an unique and an intricate system of latent emotions, thoughts, feelings, which each one carries from many births…these emotions, form the basis of the temperament, and aptitude of the growing child.
And having spoken of the human soul…I must mention that its very fabric, essence and life…is love. Its created, preserved, sustained and enriched only by LOVE…this is also true..and theres no exception to this fundamental truth.
So when a child appears to be difficult or aggressive, its time for the parents to become more conscious and aware…rather than disappointed or exasperated..any and every expression of anger, rage, violence, non-cooperation from a child is nothing but an expression of the lacunae that the child experiences or is experiencing, deep down which relates to the fundamental needs/wants of human existence.- the need to be wanted, appreciated and loved. Every being has this need and this forms the core of our psychological well being and growth.
So an expression of belligerence or anger is just a distorted expression of demanding that love which lacks deep within. It may come across in the most unusual ways, mostly with the child demonstrating pride, anger and aloofness saying he or she doesn’t need to be cosetted or pampered by the parent, and that he or she is sorted..this is a classic case of “expressing the opposite of what is” the most usual form of retaliation by the child…this is when the parents need to become more conscious and try means and methods that fulfill the “need” in more indirect and subtle ways, without apparently damaging the mental construct of the child.
Soon you will find your child becoming more responsive, participative and enegaging in daily affairs, friendly and amicable to your thoughts and suggestions….this is good!