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What you had wished you’d known about becoming a dad!
1)What's the best way to help during labour?
Every partner and father to be can help significantly during the time their partner perpares herself for laboour. You may attend antenatal classes, talk to the gynec or midwife and learn so much. You may be her constant source of emotional and mental support, by constantly talking to her, encouraging her and indulging her with some humour.
The husband can be the best intrepreter inside the delivery room, and co-ordinate the whole process of delivery coz he can understand every gesture/expression of his wife, in a way the mide wife cannot, thereby he can be a great source of support and assistance.
The man can also soothe the stress and tension of his partner by demonstrating his love and affection for her, cuddle up with her and hug her often, allow her to feel wanted, secure and safe..indulging in sweet talk and give her this ocassional foot massage, pamper her senses..
2)How do I prepare for fatherhood?
Here’s a snapshot of what fathers all over the world have to say about becoming a dad. "Bonding can take time, and it requires a parent to be open minded, patient and consistently devoted to the cause.its not something instinctive and spontaneous. It requires patience, purity of attention and time. It took me nearly a year before I bonded completely with my daughter. When I look back at her newborn pictures, I looked terrified! Now she's 18 months old and we have a brilliant relationship."
"I spent the nine months of my girlfriend's pregnancy panicking, not preparing. When our daughter did eventually come along I spent the first fortnight shopping on a daily basis buying stuff that we had forgotten, or hadn't realised we'd need." Participating in the whole process, with sincerity, and open mindedness, can be the best form of preparing to be a great parent!
"When your wife's pregnant you think about things that will happen in the future that you know about. Things like teaching them to ride a bike, swim and play football. I had no clue about my baby's body temperature or what was causing the rash on my girl's neck." ..investing time in learning about pregnancy, childbirth and childcare, is worth its weight in gold!
3)What do I need to know about looking after a newborn?
"The minute you get home from work, no matter how hectic and stressful your day has been, your partner may fling your baby at you and run upstairs. This is normal." ..and this is were your patience and composure comes into play. One has to put that extra bit of effort and become selfless…eventually, its worth all the effort!
"In the first few weeks, do practical things like, taking your baby out for a while, cleaning, washing and cooking. You're in this together, that has to be understood. Pregnancy and child care is not just about the woman! All that a man has to do, is to become “open minded”, sincerely participate with the intention to help, and be receptive to the partners suggestions and instructions
"Sarah was thirsty all the time when breastfeeding. She would be feeding for hours! I wish I'd known a bit more about that. I made sure there was filtered water in the fridge and brought her a cup of tea and toast in bed before I left for work in the morning. She appreciated that." ..educating oneself about the basic concepts and ideas of pregnancy and childcare can definitely help!
4)How do I cope with the lack of sleep?
"In the evenings I looked after my daughter while my wife grabbed a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. If my daughter woke I only took her upstairs if she needed a feed, or I couldn't soothe her myself. When I couldn't stay awake any longer I slept while my wife did the night feeds. We both managed to get enough sleep this way." ..working in tandem and sharing responsibilities can not only help with giving each parent enough time to nap, but the sheer dynamics of working like this can go a long way in improving the relationship between partners themselves and reviving their fondness for each other!
"It's really worth getting your baby into some sort of feeding and sleep routine after the first hectic month or two. When that's established you can function during the day at work, and handle the odd sleepless night." . this is one thing every parent must know, and adequately prepare themselves for..to get the baby into a consistent pattern of feeding and sleeping! This saves a lot of time and effort and the baby too naturally adapts into this, thereby making it so much easier for the parents to fulfill their duties, and also save them enough time for themselves
"I wish I'd known about colic. Our son cried for about four hours every evening for a week. That was the worst experience, and something I did not expect to happen. Get help from your GP, and know that it gets better." Here again educating yourself about common health problems like colic, running nose, cold, or ear pain…and easy natural remedies for the same really helps!
5)What makes a good dad?
"Be around as much as you can. I worked long hours when my first son was born, and at the weekends. He didn't want to know me for quite a while. Second time around, I made sure I left work on time." . this is one of the most important things for a father to know and understand! That as much as working and earning to provide for himself and his family is important, its equally, if not more important to spend quality time with his child/children!
"Don't think that because your partner gets on with it she's better at it than you. You're in this together and although it's easy to let one person take control, it's better if you can talk about sharing roles. She'll thank you for it in the long run." . pregnancy and child care, and parenting too, is teawork, comprising of both the parents, and extended family if available.
"There's no wrong way to be a dad. Just follow your instincts." This is another invaluable insight into parenting! When you are open minded, sincere and devoted, and when your intention is to contribute selflessly..then magic happens! There’s really no perfect manual to guide u to be a perfect father..just listen to the voice within
"I wish I'd changed more nappies and rocked them to sleep more often. They grow up so fast and it's gone now they're 10 and 12." . Spend time with your children! Play with them…live the moment…or you soon will regret not having done it!